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Our close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome several challenges, which I admire. Yet, she has been repeatedly caught off guard by people. Her partner left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle vanished during that time, as they were only interested in him. This surprised her deeply. She made more effort in our friendship, probably understood more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, quite a few close to her have drifted apart and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize my role in our friendship feels one-sided. I open topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to her own topics. Politically, she expresses strong opinions. I try to propose factchecking or other angles.

She is arranging a vacation abroad I know well repeatedly even called home for a while. I attempted to share personal experiences, but this was unappreciated. She essentially just desired me to confirm her choices. I've just come back from 30 days in that country she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she will ever understand the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. Currently, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, but it is seldom the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation with a view to a solution takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially requires explaining how things go during your discussions. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and basically what a recording device would replay. Next involves sharing the way it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no disagreement here. Emotions are your feelings, of course. Step three is to question how you are both will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to acknowledge it. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be impactful in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore your concerns, for those who cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a narrative about themselves they won't release as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents they trust. This is difficult as there is no easy route with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react defensively before reflecting on your words. If you never reach an agreement, it provides peace that you've been open and direct.